EXCUSES

The following is a collection of "actual excuse notes from parents
(including spelling)" from the Office of Educational Assessment at
the University of Washington.

   * My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today.
     Please execute him.
   * Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her
     shot.
   * Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29,
     30, 31,32, and also 33.
   * Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
   * Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he
     fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
   * John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his
     face.
   * Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He
     was hurt in the growing part.
   * Megan could not come to school today because she has been
     bothered by very close veins.
   * Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
   * Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea
     and his boots leak.
   * Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
   * Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
   * Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot
     to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it
     Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
   * Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend
     her funeral.
   * My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She
     spent a weekend with the Marines.
   * Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold
     and could not breed well.
   * Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed
     with gramps.
   * Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
   * Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
   * Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever,
     sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also
     sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever
     and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and
     fever. There must be something going around, her father even
     got hot last night.