Assorted food for thought: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Deja Fu: The feeling that somehow, somewhere, you've been kicked in the head like this before. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. "Are you ABNORMAL? Then you are probably better than most people! Are alien space monsters bringing a STARTLING NEW WORLD?" -- The Book of the SubGenius A thought for the day: In ``A Clarification of Questions,'' Iran's Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini wrote that ``if a fly gets into the throat of one who is fasting, it is not necessary to pull it out.'' Being in a minority, even a minority of one, does not make one insane. -- Winston Smith in Orwell's "1984" A day without sunshine is like night. There is a CD out entitled "The Worst of Jefferson Airplane". If you buy this, take it home, play it, and enjoy it, should you take it back and demand a refund? College is a fountain of knowledge...and the students are there to drink. A polar bear is a rectangular bear after a coordinate transform. This is a crude version of a more advanced utility that has never been written. -- X-windows xwud(1) man-page "Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk." -- Steven King, 3/8/90 The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. -- Jay Leno IBM: It may be slow, but it's hard to use. Ernest asks Frank how long he has been working for the company. "Ever since they threatened to fire me," Frank replied. --------- if you cut here, you'll probably destroy your monitor ---------- The Dalai Lama walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail. -- Abraham Maslow He who dies with the most toys, is, nonetheless, still dead. Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage. - Alive, occupying space, and exerting gravitational force. Photons have mass? I didn't know they were catholic! Make everything as simple as possible, but not more so. It is truly written that a man has five times as many fingers as ears, but only twice as many ears as noses. Goodbye. I am leaving because I am bored. -- George Saunders' dying words Walt Disney is not dead. He's in suspended animation. "Do you accept Christ as your personal saviour?" "Well, I've already got AT&T as my long distance carrier." Flame all you want. We'll post more. You can't win. You can't break even. You can't even quit the game. Jesus saves sinners...and redeems them for valuable cash prizes! If you had everything, where would you keep it? Someone put live piranha in our swimming pool. If we don't swim there anymore, the piranha will starve. The use of 'goto' statements is discouraged, especially with the label HELL: What's the sound a name makes when it's dropped? My friends...what are hot dogs? Chopped dog? No, they're chopped eyeballs, and what's better on eyeballs than A-1? The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity. If God had intended Man to Smoke, He would have set him on Fire. I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top. -- English Professor, Ohio University A man without religion is like a fish without a bicycle. God is love; Satan is 30 and up one set. What was sliced bread the greatest thing since? I haven't lost my mind; I'm sure it's backed up on tape somewhere!