Points to Ponder


Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor

Atheism is a non-profit organization

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys 
and apes

The main reason Santa is so jolly is cuz he knows where all the bad 
girls live

I went to a bookstore and asked the salesperson, "where's the 
self-help section?" and she told me that would defeat the whole purpose

Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't 
going as ghosts but as mattresses?

Should crematoriums give discounts to burn victims?

If a mute cusses does the mother wash his hands with soap?

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there 
is no woman to hear him is he still wrong?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself is 
it considered a hostage situation?

Is there another word for synonym?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Where do forest rangers go to 'get away from it all'?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered 
plant?

If a parsley farmer is sued can they garnish his wages?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will 
clean them?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell is he homeless or naked?

Why don't sheep shrink in the rain?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If the policeman arrest a mime does he tell him he has the right to 
remain silent?

Why do they put braille on the drive through bank machines?

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow sign?

Why do they sterilize the needles for a lethal injection?

Why did the kamikaze pilots wear helmets?