How To Write a Story  (by a prospective engineer)

1.  Avoid adjectives.

2.  Talk about theories and use a lot of formulas to figure everything out.
    ex:  He wondered how he could let her know of his love for her.  Then it 
         hit him like a falling projectile:  by using the inverse of the first
	 derivative he could convince her that his theory of his love for her 		 was true.  Surely there would be no room for antiderivatives.

3.  Include a lot of power tools.  Captivate audiences with that drill.  Go 
    ahead, throw in some action dealing with a crazed woman chasing a guy with 
    a drill rotating at several hundred revolutions per minute.  Don't forget
    to include references to the keyless chuck.

4.  Print the story on green engineering paper.

5.  Have the story be told from an outside source.  A true author might choose
    to tell a romance through the eyes of a graphing calculator owned by one 
    of the characters. 

6.  Present general physics equations at the beginning of each chapter that can
    be used along with the readings to decipher the plot.

7.  Avoid symbolism, unless of course you want to discuss decibels. 

8.  Include several graphs for the reader to integrate as he reads.

9.  Discuss the story from all three of the necessary views: profile, frontal, 
    and horizontal views.

10. End the story with a happy ending.  
    An example of this might be if the guy loses the girl he then goes out and
    buys a new computer program.