MURPHY'S COMPUTER LAWS Cann'Õs Axiom: When all else fails, read the instructions. Deadline-Dan'Õs Demon: Every task takes twice as long as you think it will take. If you double the time you think it will take, it will actually take four times as long. Estridge'Õs Law: No matter how large and standardized the marketplace is, IBM can redefine it. Franklin'Õs Rule: Blessed is the end user who expects nothing, for he/she will not be disappointed. Gilb'Õs Laws of Unreliability: 1) At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer you will find at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer. 2) Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable. 3) Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable errors, which by definition are limited. 4) Investment in reliability will increase until it exceeds the probable cost of errors, or until someone insists on getting some useful work done. Hind'sÕ Laws of Computer Programming: 1) Any given program, when running, is obsolete. 2) If a program is useful, it will have to be changed. 3) If a program is useless, it will have to be documented. 4) Any given program will expand to fill all available memory. 5) The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output. 6) Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer who must maintain it. 7) Make it possible for programmers to write programs in English, and you will find that programmers cannot write in English. Hoare'Õs Law: Inside every complex and unworkable program is a useful routine struggling to get out. Sattinger'Õs Law: It works better if you plug it in. Shaw'Õs Principle: Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it. Murphy'Õs Law of Thermodynamics: Things get worse under pressure. Ninety-Ninety Rule of Project Schedules: The first ninety percent of the task takes ninety percent of the time, and the last ten percent takes the other ninety percent. Nixon'Õs Theorem: The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on. Peer'Õs Law: the solution to a problem changes the problem. Rhodes'Õ Corollary to HHH Theories of Adaptation: 1) After months of training and you finally understand all of a program'Õs commands, a revised version of the program arrives with an all-new command structure. 2) After designing a useful routine that gets around a familiar ÒbugÓ in the system, the system is revised, the ÒbugÓ is taken away, and y'ou left with a useless routine. 3) Effort in improving a program'Õs Òuser friendlinessÓ invariably leads to work in improving the user'Õs Òcomputer literacy.Ó 4) ThatÕs not a Òbug,Ó thatÕs a feature! Weinberg'Õs Law: If builders built buildings the way programmers write programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization. Wood'Õs Axiom: As soon as a still-to-be-finished computer task becomes a life-or-death situation, the power fails.