"BAD TIMES" VIRUS ALERT


If you receive an e-mail with a subject of "Badtimes," delete it
immediately WITHOUT reading it. This is the most dangerous e-mail virus yet.

It will rewrite your hard drive.  Not only that, but it will scramble any
disks that are even close to your computer. It will re-calibrate your
refrigerator's coolness setting so that all your ice cream melts. It will
de-magnetize the strips on all your credit cards, mar the tracking on your
VCR, and use the subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to
play. It will give your very ex-love interest your new phone number. It
will mix anti-freeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer and
leave its socks out on the coffee table when company is coming over.  It
will put a dead fish in the back pocket of your good suit and hide your car
keys when you are late for work. "Badtimes" will make you fall in love with
a penguin. It will give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will pour
sugar in your gas tank and shave off both your eyebrows while dating your
current love interest behind your back and billing the dinner and hotel
room to your Visa card.

It reaches out beyond the grave to sully those things we hold most dear. It
moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it. It cause a
sudden, severe, unheretofore suspected allergy to your dog! It will leave
libidinous messages on your boss' voice mail in your voice! It is insidious
and subtle.  It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather
interesting shade of mauve. "Badtimes" will give you Dutch elm disease. It
will leave the toilet seat up.  It will make a batch of Methamphetamine in
your bath tub and then leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out
to chase high school kids with your snow blower. These are just a few of
the things this virus can do. Be warned... "Badtimes" is BAD!